Goals on film

10.36am First, some "tweets": @shawnlevy "Now we have six months of hearing about how the US beat England in 1950. Just don't make me watch the crap film they made about it again."

@bobtimmermann "So how many North Koreans will be in South Africa? How many nonstops per day are there from Pyongyang to Capetown? 6? 7? 10? 15?"

So, that's nice.

10.26am So, there we go. I'm going to take a break now, having been typing non stop for two hours, but I'll be back in a bit to do some 'analysis'. On first blush, doesn't seem to be a standout Group Of Death, while, at the same time, there are some tasty matchups. England - USA, Brazil - Portugal.... Groups D and E look the toughest. Also, if you are a secret Honduras fan, you'll be quietly pleased with that one... Actually, Stevie and Efan have pointed out that G is tough, too. You'd think Brazil will go through, but Ivory Coast - Portugal could decide that one.

Round 3 update I don't know how Algeria and not Ivory Coast ended up in group C, but Team USA and England must both be pleased... Also, Group H, all Spanish, all the time.

Round 2 update I'm delighted with England - USA. Fun game.

9.57 It really seems like Charlize doesn't know how this draw is going to happen. Or is she just a very good actress? Chris suggests she might be drunk. I think I'd have to be.

South Africa are definitely in group A. Charlize is still asking questions. She's good.

So, the people doing the draw are on stage... Oh god. Spelling time. Haile Gebrselassie, John Smidts, Mackey Ntini (who draws a girlish giggle from Charlize), Matthew Booth, and Simplewed Blo- nah. Sorry. It's too embarassing to try. Someone from the ladies team. Oh, and David Beckham. What's he doing there? GAME ON, anyway.

Group A South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France

Group B Argentina, South Korea, Nigeria, Greece.

Group C England, USA (CMON!), Algeria, Slovenia

Group D Germany, Australia, Ghana, Serbia

Group E Holland, Japan, Cameroon, Denmark

Group F Italy, New Zealand, Paraguay, Slovakia

Group G Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal

Group H Spain, Honduras, Chile, Switzerland

Charlize has a very odd accent; part English, part American, Part South African. Oh great, they're already trying to grope her. The grope of death?

'Before we begin... ' NOOOO. GET ON WITH IT. Nice, you can tell this is live, they're having mic problems with the president of the Cameroonian football agency.

'Now Charlize, let's move to the table.' ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkay.

9.48 The two English (well, Scouse and Nigerian) pour scorn on the excitement of the draw, saying that they didn't watch it when they were players. Ok, it's gonna start. Heads down for the draw. Oh wait, some music.Seemingly fronted by a man dressed as a dickensian chimney sweep. Excellent

9.46 MINUTES AWAY. Thank f*ck for that.

9.40 'Charlize Theron will be moving very well'. Really?? Really? Would you say that sort of thing about David Beckham? Cmon, ESPN.

9.38 Oooh, great, another VT about how 'Africans' might be poor, but they play soccer in the dust, because they love it so much, or some shit. This could be a long summer of liver damage if they keep this shit up.

9.36 Blah blah superstars blah. ESPN2, you are sucking my soul. Oooh, apparently the draw is minutes away. Remember, you can twitter us at @goalsonfilm. WOOP.

9.30 According to my sister in Madrid, there is much excitement in Spain. That's the sort of incisive global reporting you get here. Oh, David Beckham. Hello. Please cut your hair.

9.26 Thierry Henry, Lionel Messi, Christiano Ronaldo. zzzzzzzzzzzz. It's like a fricking Nike commercial out there. Also, Stevie and Efan sound quite bored with talking to the two Americans about this 'Soccerball' thing. I still don't know the name of the ESPN presenter. Does his mother?

9.22 OMG. They just mentioned cricket on ESPN.

9.18 Excellent. Some patronising ESPN video montage about the Voices of Africa. Maybe, just maybe, this World Cup will stop a certain number of people from seeing 'Africa' as one homogenous entity...

9.11 Efan Ekoku, who I once saw play for AFC Bournmouth, pours cold water over any suggestion that Thierry Henry might be punished for his handball. Voice of reason, he is.

9.08 They've still not said anything about when Charlize is going to get her hands on Sepp's balls, so your guess is as good as mine. Stick around, and when I hear anything, I'll let you know. With a slight delay, obviously. Cretinous US host is referring to France and Portugal as 'Silver Bullets'. Methinks he's been watching too much New Moon

9.05 In the studio we have Alexi Lalas, Steve McManaman (wow!) Efan Ekoku (double wow!) and some cretinous espn host. Winner! Lalas is spouting platitudes. My toast is ready.

9.04 Apparently there are people in bars in New York watching this. Excellent work.

9am There's some sort of fanfare and shit. Hm, don't know why, but I was expecting blue skies in Cape Town. It's night there.

8.55am As an England fan, who would I like?

Let's go with:

England, New Zealand, Algeria,Slovenia. That'd do nicely.

Though, I'm almost tempted to say Portugal in there, as it'd be good to get the inevitable loss out of the way whilst they can still recover from it.

Ok, quite coffee break before this thing starts

8.52am We've had a question asking what a group of death would look like; Assuming this means that any of the teams could get knocked out (I'd fancy Brazil and Spain to come through any group, no matter who they get), I'd go for something like this:

Germany, USA, Cameroon, Portugal.

8.50am Ten mintes to go to the draw. It seems like everyone will be wanting to be drawn in South Africa's group; failing that, the weakest seeded teams would seem at this stage to be Argentina (thanks largely to Diego's, uh, esoteric management style) and Germany. Stronger teams further down look like USA / Mexico (though, I don't massively rate either of these), Ivory Coast, Portugal and Denmark

8.45am Ah, my coffee is here. Excellent. So, looking at the pots below, the biggest dissapointment, in my eyes, is that we're not going to see a USA - North Korea game, except in the unlikely case whereby on team wins their group, and the other comes second, thus giving them a chance of meeting in the first knockout round.

8.27am I've just realised, this is much easier to read if I put updates at the top, right? Excellent. Anyways, here are the pots and seedings:

Pot 1: South Africa, Brazil, Spain, Holland, Italy, Germany, Argentina, England.

Pot 2: Japan, South Korea, North Korea, Australia, New Zealand, USA, Mexico, Honduras.

Pot 3: Ivory Coast, Ghana, Cameroon, Nigeria, Algeria, Paraguay, Chile, Uruguay.

Pot 4: France, Portugal, Slovenia, Switzerland, Greece, Serbia, Denmark, Slovakia.

The long and the short of it is, really, Charlize Theron (presumably ignoring Sepp Blatter's off color references to his balls) will draw a name from each pot, and these will make up the groups. However, so as to avoid all the South African Teams being drawn together, or something, the first two African teams out of pot three will be placed into a group with Argentina or Brazil.

I think. Hey, it's a learning experience for us all.

8.11am Hello, Good Morning, Welcome to the World Cup Draw 2010, live*! You've probably guessed this, but I'm not in South Africa; I'm sat here at my desk in the Goals on Film offices which, at the moment, look suspiciously like my front room. It's a cold, cloudy day here in San Francisco, a state of affairs that's matched by my head; it was the IODA Christmas party last night (thanks chaps!), and I took full advantage. Still, let's hope the draw provides enough excitement to warm us up and blow away the fog. Failing that, I've just put the coffee on.

Please feel free to twitter us @goalsonfilm, or email us using the contact bit to the right. I don't know how much I'll have a chance to answer during the helter skelter action of the draw itself, but hey. We can but try.

Right. I'm going to do some quick 'research' and bring you the seedings and pots. Back in a few...

8.20am Breaking News - a million fire trucks just pulled up outside our house. I don't think we're going to burn down; if this all goes silent, this'll be why.. *may not be totally live, more, as it happens on TV.